Ever since I passed out from University and entered my profession, I have been dreaming about this day – the day I would enter into a serious Panga with a policeman and then instead of stating “Pata hain mera baap kaun hai?” show off by saying “Pata hain main kaun huun?” Well, that is exactly what happened tonight. Had taken out car to purchase something – not getting into details about that… On my way back, I hit a bike – well it was not my fault entirely – they were at equal– if not greater fault….I get down from my car to get into a fight and guess what – there’s not one, but two police sergeants – they probably were out on a casual stroll at night and of all the people on the road, I manage to hit them.
Let me give you an advice, if you ever manage to hit a cop, NEVER tell them that they were at fault. Well, I was in the mood for panga and this was my dream come true situation, so in order to incense them, I shouted out – “Can’t you people see where you are going?” Maybe the policemen were in a mood to reach home fast, so probably they would have let me go with a warning normally, but this comment probably hurt their inflated ego and I could actually see their faces turn red. As soon as I made the smartass comment, the driver turned of the ignition of his bullet and the pillion rider came aggressively towards me- soon, followed by the driver. I could see blood in their eyes- they were ready to kill.
Well, however, brave I may try to appear here, I must confess, when they actually charged towards my car – I was shit scared – Damn it – these were two 6 feet plus well-built cops after all and I had not only hit their bike, but also their pride. Could I have been in a bigger mess?
“Give me your Goddam licence and car papers, NOW” – the policeman almost roared…
Hey, interrupting for a moment here, are you sure I don’t sound like the two brothers in Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na – who deliberately tried to get into trouble so that they got arrested- in order to prove their mardangi in their community? I’ll make myself clear at this juncture, I had absolutely no intention of getting arrested – my intension was just to test whether uttering my the name of my profession actually gets me out of law and order trouble or not. Well, I like experimenting. Also I could take such a risk ‘cause I had solid back up plans – (a) this was near my house, so MY muhalla, (b) I know the Officer-In-Charge of the Police Station under whose jurisdiction I had hit these nincompoops, (c) I even know some high ranked police officers, if situation actually went out of hand, I could call them up, (d) I knew exactly what punishment could be meted out to me, which shouldn’t be much except for confiscation of my licence, (that is anyways expiring in a fortnight’s time) and (e) This is election time, maaan – people are roaming about scot-free after hurling their fata-futa shoe at the Prime Minister (well, about that, God knows how can they miss a person from a mere 10 feet distance!!) and I had not even hit the policemen, just their bike – how bad could it be ?
At that very moment, I brought out my trump card (I brought out my professional licence, which happens to be in the form of a card) – “Do you know who I am? And do you know what I can make out of this?” – I retorted. For a split second the sergeant stopped talking, I could see them debating in their mind about whether it was worth to take this far enough – they looked at each other – and then stared at me – one of them with a resigned look, another with a blank face (I could sense, he was contemplating what to say).. Those few seconds my heart stopped beating in excitement – Have I succeeded? Have I been able to get out of a fiasco by just strutting about my profession? Has my long-cherished dream turned into reality? I almost stopped breathing – the feeling was same like the time Misbah –ul-Haq- the last Pakistani wicket- hit Joginder Sharma towards fine leg in the last over of the World 20-Twenty Championship and Sreeshanth was getting underneath the ball to complete the catch. And, I must tell you, like the World Cup finals, even in this scenario, after the few seconds’ wait, I was almost over the moon, when the sergeant said – “Ok, letting you go this time, never repeat this ever again”.
Yes!!!- Done it!!!!!!! Slam Dunk!!!! Birdie!!!! Ace!!!!! And my joy knew no bounds – The entire ride back home I was not just driving on the road, I had the feeling of waltzing over the clouds…. So – Tick – one more fantasy turned to reality!!!!
Well, however, brave I may try to appear here, I must confess, when they actually charged towards my car – I was shit scared – Damn it – these were two 6 feet plus well-built cops after all and I had not only hit their bike, but also their pride. Could I have been in a bigger mess?
“Give me your Goddam licence and car papers, NOW” – the policeman almost roared…
Hey, interrupting for a moment here, are you sure I don’t sound like the two brothers in Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na – who deliberately tried to get into trouble so that they got arrested- in order to prove their mardangi in their community? I’ll make myself clear at this juncture, I had absolutely no intention of getting arrested – my intension was just to test whether uttering my the name of my profession actually gets me out of law and order trouble or not. Well, I like experimenting. Also I could take such a risk ‘cause I had solid back up plans – (a) this was near my house, so MY muhalla, (b) I know the Officer-In-Charge of the Police Station under whose jurisdiction I had hit these nincompoops, (c) I even know some high ranked police officers, if situation actually went out of hand, I could call them up, (d) I knew exactly what punishment could be meted out to me, which shouldn’t be much except for confiscation of my licence, (that is anyways expiring in a fortnight’s time) and (e) This is election time, maaan – people are roaming about scot-free after hurling their fata-futa shoe at the Prime Minister (well, about that, God knows how can they miss a person from a mere 10 feet distance!!) and I had not even hit the policemen, just their bike – how bad could it be ?
At that very moment, I brought out my trump card (I brought out my professional licence, which happens to be in the form of a card) – “Do you know who I am? And do you know what I can make out of this?” – I retorted. For a split second the sergeant stopped talking, I could see them debating in their mind about whether it was worth to take this far enough – they looked at each other – and then stared at me – one of them with a resigned look, another with a blank face (I could sense, he was contemplating what to say).. Those few seconds my heart stopped beating in excitement – Have I succeeded? Have I been able to get out of a fiasco by just strutting about my profession? Has my long-cherished dream turned into reality? I almost stopped breathing – the feeling was same like the time Misbah –ul-Haq- the last Pakistani wicket- hit Joginder Sharma towards fine leg in the last over of the World 20-Twenty Championship and Sreeshanth was getting underneath the ball to complete the catch. And, I must tell you, like the World Cup finals, even in this scenario, after the few seconds’ wait, I was almost over the moon, when the sergeant said – “Ok, letting you go this time, never repeat this ever again”.
Yes!!!- Done it!!!!!!! Slam Dunk!!!! Birdie!!!! Ace!!!!! And my joy knew no bounds – The entire ride back home I was not just driving on the road, I had the feeling of waltzing over the clouds…. So – Tick – one more fantasy turned to reality!!!!
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