I HAVE BAD TEETH. It is as official as saying Paris Hilton is dumb or that Scarlett Johansson is the hottest bitch around. Its not that they are just small or non-white or brittle or that they ache occasionally. What can I say if they are all three together? I can’t even imagine opening a beer bottle or a soft drink bottle with my teeth and watch in awe when my friends do that nonchalantly day in day out. Then there are some people with glistening and sparkling white teeth - the ones which ll tempt you to try to see your reflection in - Sigh - That pleasure is not for me. Nor do I dare to bite extremely hot or cold things with my teeth, unlike some friends who chew the sweet ice golas in sweltering summer heat. These evoke the feeling – “Kaash, apna teeth bhi aise hotey” – in fact there have been times when this particular thought has come across my mind when I have had books and bed covers chewed off by rats in hostel and the first reaction which came to my mind then was not “F%^&ing Rat”, but the Kaash wala statement. Imagine - even a rat giving me complex - how 'rat'tling is that? - How desperate do I sound?
I remember going to this dentist first time in my life and this son of a gun made this wisecrack of a statement – “You have hypoplastic (what the heck does that mean, btw) teeth and you shall be lucky if you retain any of your teeth by the time you turn 30”. That was what you call a true blue scar – cause since then I have visited many dentists who have assured me that I have perfectly normal teeth – but the horrifying statement of the first dentist still rings in my mind – it’s like that feeling –women come and women go, but you never forget your first crush. Analogising, dentists came and dentists went, but I still remember the hypoplasty bugger’s comment. Well, one way he has helped me is that he has made me cautious and I NEVER monkey around with my teeth – I don’t bite people in jest, I don’t try opening bottles or try to crack a walnut with them to show off to women or French every other hot chick I meet (well, the last one is more due to lack of opportunity rather than care for teeth, but I would like to attribute it to my deep care for teeth). And every time I used to get a spanking from Dad or stood guard on the Free kick wall in soccer matches, waiting for the looming ball (soccer ball, you idiots), to hit me hard, there was only one particular part of my body I used to cover. Pervs, I ain’t mentioning about that spot – remember this post is about my teeth- hence I was obviously guarding my sensitive teeth. I must say that I take good care of my teeth – brush them twice a day with Oral B toothbrushes and Dabur Red toothpaste which has lots of medicinal qualities apparently, use Happydent chewing gums (Television claims “It really works” on all living animals including cows, the last word is significant – am sure the person concerned should understand), file them regularly and get them scaled every year. Still sadly, I don’t have the most shining of teeth. While watching the rerun of Friends (for the umpteenth time) on my comp, I suddenly chanced upon this episode where Ross bleaches his teeth – suddenly it struck me – hey why not – even I could do that (I have seen this episode quite a few number of times, don’t know why it did not strike me then). You won’t believe me, in proper Alchemist ishtyle, (the shit about entire world conspiring to help you achieve your goal), a very old and dear friend of mine, who is presently working in Johnson and Johnson lands from New Jersey after 13 years and presents me with you know what – a set of TEETH WHITENER strips, amongst other things. Now, tell me isn’t this just Providence- or else why would he present me with a Teeth Whitener along with the other plethora of gifts?? People don’t present old friends with Teeth Whitener just like that – am sure there must have been a hand of the Almighty in this… Anyways Rony, Thanks a lot for the gift.
Oh I also forgot to mention one more fact that I still don’t have wisdom teeth – have been waiting so long for them [:)]. The other day, my girlfriend called me up complaining that her wisdom teeth have finally decided to sprout – I could literally visualize her grimacing with pain – there was so much pain in her voice. Now, don’t get me wrong – am no sadomasochist and I would happily stay away from pain, but I could not help but feel jealous about the fact that she was experiencing this sweet pain of wisdom teeth coming out – am so desperate to complete my 32 set.. how else am I supposed to give out a full-fledged radiant smile with just 14 pairs of them?
So, finally today I summoned up the courage of testing the Teeth whitener- it takes about 30 minutes – those were the tensest 30 minutes of the year. Finally I took the strip out and beamed at myself in front of the mirror – hmm – well – yes the upper set of teeth indeed seemed glowing , the lower pair didn’t show much improvement, but am ready to wait and hope – all is not lost. Long live Teeth whitener!!!!!
If you want to get a feeling about how much the whitener worked – look closely at the two pics of the whitener below – my teeth also had a similar transition.
I remember going to this dentist first time in my life and this son of a gun made this wisecrack of a statement – “You have hypoplastic (what the heck does that mean, btw) teeth and you shall be lucky if you retain any of your teeth by the time you turn 30”. That was what you call a true blue scar – cause since then I have visited many dentists who have assured me that I have perfectly normal teeth – but the horrifying statement of the first dentist still rings in my mind – it’s like that feeling –women come and women go, but you never forget your first crush. Analogising, dentists came and dentists went, but I still remember the hypoplasty bugger’s comment. Well, one way he has helped me is that he has made me cautious and I NEVER monkey around with my teeth – I don’t bite people in jest, I don’t try opening bottles or try to crack a walnut with them to show off to women or French every other hot chick I meet (well, the last one is more due to lack of opportunity rather than care for teeth, but I would like to attribute it to my deep care for teeth). And every time I used to get a spanking from Dad or stood guard on the Free kick wall in soccer matches, waiting for the looming ball (soccer ball, you idiots), to hit me hard, there was only one particular part of my body I used to cover. Pervs, I ain’t mentioning about that spot – remember this post is about my teeth- hence I was obviously guarding my sensitive teeth. I must say that I take good care of my teeth – brush them twice a day with Oral B toothbrushes and Dabur Red toothpaste which has lots of medicinal qualities apparently, use Happydent chewing gums (Television claims “It really works” on all living animals including cows, the last word is significant – am sure the person concerned should understand), file them regularly and get them scaled every year. Still sadly, I don’t have the most shining of teeth. While watching the rerun of Friends (for the umpteenth time) on my comp, I suddenly chanced upon this episode where Ross bleaches his teeth – suddenly it struck me – hey why not – even I could do that (I have seen this episode quite a few number of times, don’t know why it did not strike me then). You won’t believe me, in proper Alchemist ishtyle, (the shit about entire world conspiring to help you achieve your goal), a very old and dear friend of mine, who is presently working in Johnson and Johnson lands from New Jersey after 13 years and presents me with you know what – a set of TEETH WHITENER strips, amongst other things. Now, tell me isn’t this just Providence- or else why would he present me with a Teeth Whitener along with the other plethora of gifts?? People don’t present old friends with Teeth Whitener just like that – am sure there must have been a hand of the Almighty in this… Anyways Rony, Thanks a lot for the gift.
Oh I also forgot to mention one more fact that I still don’t have wisdom teeth – have been waiting so long for them [:)]. The other day, my girlfriend called me up complaining that her wisdom teeth have finally decided to sprout – I could literally visualize her grimacing with pain – there was so much pain in her voice. Now, don’t get me wrong – am no sadomasochist and I would happily stay away from pain, but I could not help but feel jealous about the fact that she was experiencing this sweet pain of wisdom teeth coming out – am so desperate to complete my 32 set.. how else am I supposed to give out a full-fledged radiant smile with just 14 pairs of them?
So, finally today I summoned up the courage of testing the Teeth whitener- it takes about 30 minutes – those were the tensest 30 minutes of the year. Finally I took the strip out and beamed at myself in front of the mirror – hmm – well – yes the upper set of teeth indeed seemed glowing , the lower pair didn’t show much improvement, but am ready to wait and hope – all is not lost. Long live Teeth whitener!!!!!
If you want to get a feeling about how much the whitener worked – look closely at the two pics of the whitener below – my teeth also had a similar transition.
Posts
